To quote Thomas Paine –

“These are the times that try men’s souls.”

I want to issue an open apology to everyone on Spirit Airlines Flight 971 last night. You witnessed my family at its worst. You witnessed Eric at his worst, you witnessed my wife covered in vomit, my oldest son covered in vomit, my daughter covered in orange juice and my youngest son vomiting enough to make the special effects director on The Exorcist jealous. You witnessed the mother of all birth control.

First – Spirit Airlines – top notch. Minus the cattle herding mentality of the initial boarding and the knee room space for an oompa-loompa. They really did help, despite being the Greyhound of the skies.

We are in Arizona to celebrate the 80th birthday of my grandmother. This woman is a saint by the way. She has raised six kids, four of which have eyesight issues, taught them faith and a strong work ethic. On top of that she’s created a foundation for future generations. I know love and what a family is because of this woman. She is a blessing.

Back to the flight – we were subjected to watching a young girl in front of us throw up at least ten times during the duration of the flight and then at the last moment – our youngest joined in the fun. You’ll never enjoy the sound of flight attendants yelling at you more than when you’re running your oldest son to the bathroom as he’s covered in someone else’s vomit (on his FACE, ON HIS FACE). The flight attendants are yelling, but as soon as they see chunks of gummy worms on a kid, they back off. I could have hijacked the flight at that moment, but I didn’t.

This was of course the cap, the cherry if you will, to the entire flight. Our youngest screamed bloody murder for about an hour and my wife spilled orange juice all over herself and the two older kids. The entire flight felt like a bad sitcom from the 90s where everything that can go wrong does.

I prayed so much last night for sweet release. Whether through death or blacking out. I would have taken either.

To tie a bow on this – the amazing part is that my wife and I laughed about it immediately after. I learned a lesson because I worry so much about how other people will think and view our family – I learned that you cannot control what happens. You can smile through and carry on. Keep your chin up.