An open letter to Eric Smith from Eric Smith

Dear Sir.
It’s Ash Wednesday and frankly, Kevin called you out. I don’t know whether he knew it or not, but you’re the dude that doesn’t always do Lent. There was a couple years there, but last year….not so much. So here’s the deal, you need to make a splash this year. You need to pick something to give up that will really wow people. Let them know that you mean business. So here’s a list of things you should consider –

1. Coffee
2. The Internet
3. Shaving
4. Red Meat
5. Television

Let me break these down for you –

Coffee – There’s no way you can do this. You’d be a zombie worthy of a guest spot on The Walking Dead. You’d be an unsavory member of society bent on causing destruction and leaving a path of choice words and blank stares wherever you go. In the best Dr. Phil voice you can muster, “Get real.”

The Internet – Let’s be honest, you’re typing an open letter to yourself online. Is this even for real?

Shaving – This isn’t something you’d “suffer,” you buffoon. You’d love this. You dream of this. This is not what Lent is about.

Red Meat – Sure, right. Why not give up on America and the troops? I can just see you sitting in the backseat of your car outside In-N-Out devouring a burger like it was the first thing you’ve eaten since prison. You’ll fail this so miserably.

Television – Wait. Hang on. There’s so much to see. Top Gear season 19. West Wing (yes, you read that right). Surely you’re joking. You cannot do this. You’d be a fool. What are you going to talk to people about?! You’ll have to make true meaningful conversations with people. You can’t just make references to last night’s LOST? (Yes, I know in your world LOST still exists and hasn’t jumped the shark yet)

So where does that leave us Eric? That leaves us here – if Lent is truly about joining in suffering with Christ. If Lent is truly a season to be treasured, you have to partake. You need to give up something that will cause you to have more time with Christ, family, friends.

So despite all these jokes, television is the real choice here. You waste so much time wrapping yourself up in fiction. Escaping reality. Stop it. Stop it now. Use this time to read, maybe write a blog (#shamelessplug), or you know, talk to your wife and kids. The television is the one thing that takes and very rarely gives back.

This year you can make Lent real and meaningful. Give up TV. Give up Jeremy Clarkson. Give up Jed Bartlet. You can do this.

Use this time to seek God, expand your mind through books and deepen your faith. TV is merely a drug. Sure this may be hard, but that’s the point isn’t it? Seeking Christ first is sometimes hard. This is merely an exercise in metaphor. You’ll thank me.

The Best Looking Man You Know